I, along with Jared, would like to profusely apologize for all the random posts out of nowhere. I have been on vacation in Hawaii like a 1 Percent muthafucka! I will be home on the 24th and by then I hope to return back to the regular posting times. Also expect a few grammatical errors in this next story. Usually my more serious story's are without editing. I don't care how many views I get, I just enjoy having my thoughts heard my the two or three people that continue to read it.
It was recently my birthday and I don't mean to be an attention whore, but I had a dramatic drop in my "Happy Birthday" posts on Facebook. I think it may have been because of some “controversial” and “offensive” stories that I wrote. As you all know Facebook is a social networking system that 99% of the time fails us. Be it grammar or conserving the innocence of 12 year old girls, Facebook is terrible. I hate the constant posts that go a little something like this "Wit ma bitchez #WhoringAround #YOLO #HotGirlsHaveProblemsToo" If you ever see this, it's probably from a 12 year old girl who needs attention. She probably has a bunch of stupid quotes that are about her "troubled life". She may constantly talk about the love that she lost and how she will never love the same way again. However, Facebook pulled through and helped a country to spread ideas about change in the government. The one time that Facebook came through was with the recent activity in Egypt. The peoples ability to get their ideas out about the government was what slightly aided them to end Gadhafi's reign. It also started a new fad used constantly by a certain British Kid who will go unnamed. What I am trying to get across, is that Social Networking systems can be used for good. If people decided to post about a meaningful topic more often, then maybe we could get farther in society. Besides posts about #YOLO and Gadhafi, there is also the dreaded birthday posts. You know what I am talking about. But what I find interesting, is the decision for someone to write, “hb” or “Happy Birthday”. What does it show about the relationship between you and said poster. Allow me to digress. No matter what your social status is, who you are, or what you enjoy, you will get notifications about your birthday from everyone. Their may be one difference you notice when scrolling through all of them however. Some closer friends write happy birthday and maybe even a short message. Others, however, write, “hb”Just in case you were wondering, “hb” means happy birthday. This to me shows the overall laziness and dislike for the birthday kids wall. If you don’t like the person whose birthday it is, then don’t post. They don’t care, and they probably don’t like you either. Personally, when I see, “hb” written on my wall, I feel offended. I can tell that this person doesn’t like me. So if you don’t like the person, don’t write, “hb”. I, and a couple other’s I hope, would sooner have 20 nice notifications of relatives and close friends then 400 notifications of people I/We don’t know. So think before you post. Is it really worth writing, “hb”? Know that the person won’t feel any better or satisfied that they received a post from you. Nobody wants to spend their time on Facebook, leafing through random bullshit trying to find notes from relatives or a best friend. This isn’t my subtle way of telling the world to not post on my wall. I don’t care if they keep posting on my wall or if they stop. I just want them to know that it is pointless and on occasion offensive. Once again, I apologize for the random posting days. Jared and I will make sure to go back to the normal posting routine once I get home. But please stop posting messages that nobody wants. It is annoying and I am surely not the only one who feels offended or pissed off at the people who write, “hb”. -Jack
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How The Zombie Apocalypse Affects Society Today
My perspective on the zombie apocalypse is not just a super awesome way to kill thousands of zombies, but it is also an escape from reality. As we all know this generation sucks and we are doing all we can to cope with YOLO, Disney, and all the slutty child idols in between. Everyone who has a “strong distaste” for this generation and shares my perspective knows what I am talking about. So far we can’t do anything about about it but read rage comics from people with similar ideals. If you don’t know what happened in the past couple of weeks then allow me to explain. Over the past couple of weeks there have been some strange accounts that took place in different parts of the world. One account that particularly stands out involves a “Drug Induced Rage”. A man got high on bath salts and PCP and decided to eat a homeless mans face-off. Certain questions have risen from this but how does one get high off bath salts is mine. Clearly the government lied about that like they faked the moon landing. Off course they had to take action so they said the PCP is what kept him alive after being shot six times. This, however, is not the only account. Around the time of this event a woman ate her baby. Yes, you heard me right, a woman ate her fucking baby. There is nothing that can be done to cover that one up. She ate her child. This is not only shocking but a way to confirm the zombie apocalypse. Let’s give all the normal non-nerd type kids a little background knowledge. The zombie apocalypse has been predicted to be at several different times. It should have happened during Y2K, but it didn’t. It should have happened during 6/6/6, but it didn’t. We have finally correctly predicted the first outbreak. It’s 2012 and time to kill some worthless zombies. But to me, killing zombies isn’t the main goal. To me, I think it’s a way to get rid of the shitty generation we are living in. Just think. If all the nerds, who have prepared forever for the apocalypse had a chance to get rid of the generation they hate so much, they would, wouldn’t they. While they have all the prepared experience to kill the zombies while the “popular kids” don’t, they have a way to start a new generation. This may just be my perspective on the zombie apocalypse but look deep fellow nerds, is this really just a way to kill stuff and look badass, or do you want a nerd Utopia? -Jack Hey Fellow Reader,
There will be no posts for Today but Jared and I are going to do a joint post on the Zombie Apocalypse. This is a test run on the popularity of our blog and if doing a post together doesn't work then we will go back to the normal schedule. I received some feedback from my blog and decided to prove that person wrong. What I write is not meaningless and I try to show some purpose by the end of my pretentious bullshit. So this next story will contain no meanlingless profanity, no sexual innuendo, and no empty meaning
Faceless Freshman "Bye Honey! Have a great day!" "Hmm" "Honey you are going to do great! It's your first day of High School" "Yeah I guess" "Have a wonderful day! I Love You!" "... Love you too mom" I walk inside and already regret the confidence I had built up. I walk down the first hallway, bumping into giant seniors and their verbal abuse. "Faggot" "Fucking Freshman" "Retard" Have become some of my new alias's. When I get to my class, I feel terrible. Like I'm meaningless. Of course I have to shrug this off and greet some of my classmates and "friends" when they see me walk in. "Hey, What's up?" "How was your summer" and other question arise when I walk over. I say a couple of things but nobody listens. I try to open people up with a joke but being awkward in this situation, I mess up. Stares and smirks from all of the "cool kids" "Faggot" "Shut the Fuck Up" "Nobody Likes You" Yeah, Yeah I know. I'm a terrible person and nobody likes me. To my class "friends" I'm a social outcast, but whatever. Just more stupid nonsense to pretend never happened. Well Shit. Power Hour. Where Anarchy lives and breeds. No place to sit for fear of more angry glares and homophobia. I decide to use my new highschool freedom and walk around. A couple of my real friends meet up with me and we talk about all of the nerdy stuff that we can't always express. Then, of course, a couple of un-accepting douchebags walk by. Being in a group I can ignore, shrug off, and fire back insults to gain some empty confidence. Power Hour ends and I head to Gym. Bullying is very prevalent in school, even though some people feel it isn't. Even if you are joking it may hurt the person more than you think. Think before you offend someone's race, culture, or sexual orientation. I apologize for this whiney bull-shit but it was to prove a point. 1PercentIrony will suck less next week and I pray that I don't lose all of the viewers with this. *Insert Sexual Innuendo and Isolation Jokes What's Your Favorite Color? According to the mainstream, Mine's YOLO -Jack |
Jack OgilvieJack Ogilvie is 16 years old. He enjoys writing about Anarchy and occasionally gives into the angst of a cynical high school student, so a willing to receive criticism audience is needed. Archives
February 2014
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